If you’re a 2020 bride, darling, we see you. You’re not alone during this time and please know that. We’re he re to give you some insight on questions we’ve been hearing and tips we think you should know. Should you postpone? Call your vendors? Send out your invites? All that info and more is here for you, and so are we. And if this has been you lately, let yourself feel the feels! But let us try to put your soul at ease.

sad bride due to postponed wedding coronavirus bismarck nd

Here’s the big one - Should I postpone?

Please know that there is not a right or a wrong answer here, and it’s a big and very personal decision for you and your fiancé. Here’s a few topics to consider when making this decision:

Time of Year. If your wedding is this fall or winter, you might be holding off to make a firm decision until we know more. We absolutely understand wanting to do this because in all reality, not a soul knows where our world will be in a few months' time. However, we do recommend getting a backup plan for some peace of mind, just in case. This is simply because we understand the expectations and feelings that line up with your wedding. If you allow yourself to explore different options, you may be more at peace with the situation if it does end up coming to that.

Location. Of course, in locations where the virus is more prevalent, decisions may be much more clear. But if you’re from small town North Dakota, the line gets blurry. We just ask that you keep an eye on state regulations and remember to take your guests’ health seriously. If you’ve planned for a destination wedding, we recommend checking with the resort/venue asap for insurance policies.

Guest Details. Were you planning a big hoopla with 450 guests? Are family members supposed to travel in from many different locations? There are many things to consider - however the biggest is that your guests’ and their families’ health should be high on the importance scale. We know this is a hard pill to swallow, but in the long run you’d rather see your family safe and healthy than risk their health now.

Level of Comfort with Uncertainty. Now here’s the kicker. Of course nobody loves uncertainty, however some of us are more comfortable with taking risks. While some brides already jumped to reschedule their fall weddings to avoid the feelings of unpredictability, others are learning to be okay with waiting to see. We highly recommend doing a heart check with where you’re at. What’s your worst case scenario? If it’s not getting married on your initial date, it may be best to elope and celebrate later. If it’s not having all of your life long friends or specific family members there for you, it may be best to postpone the entire day all together.

Now before you yell at us for making you think more about all these icky questions, we’re onto the good stuff - Solutions!

“if I had any air in my lungs, I’d scream at you” gif

No matter what your answers were to the above questions, we highly recommend getting a plan B in place. When deciding, remember to think of your worst-case scenarios and be sure to tackle that. Here are some ideas for you to have your NEW dream wedding day:

Elope! Do the dang thing you planned to do. Yes, it isn’t quite what you planned, but if you just want to be DONE stressing over the “what-ifs”, this might be your best option. You could do this on your initial date, or heck, why not do it next weekend? Just make sure your county clerk’s office is open and available to get your marriage license to you. If they are closed, we recommend still giving them a call and explaining your situation. With this option, it’s important to have empathy and an open mind when speaking to your vendors about their current policies.

Micro Wedding + throw your dream wedding later. You could get married as planned with immediate family AND plan your big wedding down the road. 2 weddings? This might even become a trend! With your postponed big wedding, feel free to be as elaborate or casual as your heart desires. Want the entire day you planned still? Do vow renewals and make it a weekend! You deserve it. Want to just have dinner and a dance? Just a big cocktail party? Your guests will just love to be able to celebrate you and be with other humans. You could even do your 2nd wedding on your anniversary!

Ride the wave. Are you the chill bride who is just taking life as it comes? We suggest simply making some cuts to your guest list, if necessary. (The dreaded guest list... as if you haven’t spent enough time on this) The good news this time is that people will 100% understand, and they’ll be so happy for your new marriage. This is an ideal option if you’re content riding this thing out and basing your guest list off of the current regulations. Hello, bride-chilla! Can we be friends?

Postpone! If you’re wanting to just cut the cord on the uncertainty and pretend 2020 didn’t happen, this one’s for you! Perhaps you simply can’t imagine not having your lifelong friend who lives in Chicago there for you. Or there are statewide rules that don’t allow the photographer to capture your wedding. Or you’re just tired of stressing out over this! This option may give you and your families the peace of mind you need. You’ll be married when it’s your time and you’ll someday laugh at the trials you went through to get there. If you’re debating going with this option, we recommend determining your must-haves (vendors, certain guests etc) and go from there.

Once you’ve made your decision, take a night off and pop some champagne. You’ve been through a lot! When you’re ready to crack down, here are questions to ask yourself.

How do I let my guests know?

This is important to do right away, especially if your day is creeping up as your guests are most likely very curious as to what your plans are. You’ll want to give them enough time to get their travel arrangements switched if need be.

Be sure to reach out personally to your family, close friends, and inner circle. You don’t need to know a solidified postponement date, but it’s necessary to update them on your plans.

For the bulk of your guests, feel free to send a mass email, text, or Facebook post. Just make sure the word gets out to everyone so Aunt Edna doesn’t just show up knocking on the church’s door.

This is big, are you ready? Zola and The Knot Wedding Websites have added slick new features to email all of your guests at once! Simply go to the guest list tab and click “Message Guests” Boom! Everyone is in the know.

What do I say to my vendors?

Grab your list of vendors (or quickly make a spreadsheet of all vendors you have booked and their contact info) and decide what your non-negotiable ones are. This will most likely be your big-ticket vendors like your venue, church, photographer etc. Perhaps you can’t go without your decorator or florist. Form a polite email asking for their policy, first and foremost. If necessary, ask for date availability in your new timeframe. We recommend reaching out for available days rather than choosing a day upfront without talking to anybody. Here’s an example email you could send:

Dear [Vendor Name]

We're reaching out because we have decided to shift gears with our original wedding plans of June 20, 2020 due to the Coronavirus. Do you have rescheduling fees during this time? We’d love to see if the following dates are available for our new wedding:

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June 19, 2021
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June 26, 2021
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July 17, 2021
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 Thank you!

Sincerely, [Couple’s Name]

Remember to have empathy with their responses as businesses are hurting too. It’s important to find a solution that brings clarity and peace to all parties. Once you narrow down a date or two with your must-have vendors, send a similar email with more specific information to your other vendors. If one or two vendors can’t make it work and you can’t get your deposit back, it may be important to take sunk costs into consideration and move on. Be patient with yourself as this may take time to hear responses and find a date that works for your entire wedding team.

Do I order/send my invites?

There are many levels to this one. If you have yet to order your invites, we recommend these options:

1) holding off until you make a firm decision

2) sending your invites in an online format. This is a cost-effective and adorable way to get a similar mail effect yet not waste money on printing/postage if you do end up postponing.

3) ordering and sending your invites as intended with an insert stating there may be updates depending on Coronavirus. Be sure to keep your wedding website updated and write your URL on your insert.

Already have your invites and haven’t decided to postpone just yet? Just send those puppies out with a COVID insert and your website URL info. And remember, you can always send a mass email to your guests with further information.

Have you already received all of your RSVPs? If you did so on The Knot or Zola, simply go into your ‘guest list’ and click on the ‘accepted’, and ‘declined’ categories. Simply edit each guest back to ‘no response’. This is time-consuming, yes, but very necessary so you can re-evaluate your guest count down the road. Did you do paper RSVPs? Unfortunately, the only thing to do is resend those out or transfer everything to be on your wedding website.

Want to send a ‘change the date’ invitation? We’re loving this trend! Here’s some inspo:

What about my wedding dress?

Don’t fret - Wedding dress designers and boutiques are on your side and are working to help you through whatever season of the wedding dress process you’re in.

wedding dress questions corona virus north dakota

If you’re in the season of waiting for your dress to arrive, we suggest reaching out to your dress boutique to check for any COVID-19 policies or delay updates. Even if boutique store fronts are closed, many designers are still able to make your dress.

Do you have your dress but need alterations? Try reaching out to a local ma + pa shop or a local seamstress that may be able to alter your dress.

Does your timeline say you need to find your dress yesterday? Luckily, if bridal boutiques are closed, many are offering virtual appointments! Some are even offering a unique experience to virtually try on a few dresses, and choose three to pick up and try on at home with your bridal posse. We recommend reaching out to your bridal boutique for more details on their wedding dress process during this time.

But hold up - Do I have to cancel my bridal shower, bachelorette party and honeymoon too?!

You shouldn’t have to give up everything in your bridal journey! As for your celebrations, they may have to be planned as you go. If there were travel plans involved, perhaps look into celebrating later or even after you’re married! Who’s to say you can’t strutt through Nashville with your girls AND your wedding band?

You could also do a virtual celebration, still stocked with plenty of bridal games, present opening and wine-tastings. Look for an upcoming blog on our Covid-19 celebration ideas.

As far as your honeymoon goes, this is of course dependent on travel laws at the time of the scheduled trip. It may be best to just postpone this regardless for some peace of mind depending on when and where it is. Just be sure to speak with your travel agent, hotel or resort to find out rescheduling policies asap.

My wedding is in 2021? Should I keep planning?

You absolutely should! Plan your little heart out. Just be sure to ask all vendors what their contingency plans are going forward with wedding reschedules.

Has this process been mentally draining for you?

If there’s anything we want you to know, it’s to remember that it’s okay to be sad about your wedding and other celebratory events being affected. Every bride deserves to be celebrated and showered with love, and you’re not a bad person for feeling sad about missing out. Everyone is going through a different kind of pain due to this virus, and we’re all allowed to feel what is relevant to us right now.

If you’re looking for someone to spill your emotions out to, we’re ready to listen. If you’re tired of wedding planning and get nauseous thinking of doing it for longer, w e ’re ready to take that anxiety away and tackle this unexpected wedding journey with you. When all is said and done, this could be us.