8 Wedding Planning Mistakes Couples Make (And How to Actually Enjoy Your Engagement)
You're juggling a demanding career, a social life, and now... a wedding? Here's what no one tells you about planning a wedding—and the mistakes that can derail your entire timeline.
Planning a wedding while trying to maintain your sanity and everyday life feels impossible because, honestly, it kind of is. After coordinating hundreds of weddings for time-starved professionals just like you, we've seen the same patterns emerge: couples who think they can "figure it out as they go" end up overwhelmed, exhausted, and missing out on actually enjoying their engagement.
The truth? Most wedding stress is preventable. You don't need to become a part-time event planner overnight. You just need to avoid these critical mistakes we see busy couples make over and over again.
Mistake #1: Starting to Book Vendors Before You Set Your Budget
Here's what happens: You fall in love with a venue. You book it. Then you realize you've spent 60% of your budget on the venue alone and haven't even hired a photographer yet.
The fix: Before you Google a single vendor, sit down and have the budget conversation. Research what weddings actually cost in your area (hint: it's probably more than you think). Work backwards from your guest count. This 30-minute conversation will save you months of financial stress.
Time-saving tip for busy couples: If the idea of creating a detailed budget spreadsheet makes you want to run, this is exactly the kind of foundational work a wedding planner can handle in your first meeting—giving you a realistic roadmap without the research rabbit hole.
Mistake #2: Inviting People You Wouldn't Have Over for Dinner
Real talk: If you wouldn't invite someone to a dinner party at your home, why are they coming to the most intimate celebration of your life?
Your guest list is your biggest budget lever. It's also where people-pleasing and family pressure cause the most stress.
The fix: Start with your "must-haves"—the people who make your relationship richer. Then expand carefully. Remember: This isn't a family reunion or a networking event. Every additional guest adds to your costs, coordination complexity, and stress level.
Mistake #3: Keeping Your Wedding Plans in a Silo
We get it—this is YOUR day. But here's what we've learned: When you don't communicate with key family members (especially moms and bridal party members), you create unnecessary tension during what should be a joyful time.
The fix: Create intentional touchpoints. A monthly family update call. A custom Canva doc shared with important members (Yes, we make this for you!) Delegate small tasks to people who want to help.
The benefit: People feel valued, you reduce decision fatigue, and you get help with tasks that don't require your specific expertise or vision.
Mistake #4: Bringing Your Entire Inner Circle to Dress Shopping
Too many opinions = decision paralysis. We've watched brides second-guess the perfect dress because seven people had seven different "helpful" thoughts.
The fix: Bring 2-3 people maximum—people who know your style and will be honest but supportive. If you want to include more people, save the photos and host a "dress reveal" dinner later.
Mistake #5: Spending money where it doesn’t matter.
That custom cocktail napkin with your wedding hashtag? The "bar" sign pointing to the obvious bar? The favor that 60% of guests will leave behind?
The fix for luxury-minded couples: Invest in experiences that elevate your guests' actual experience and create seamless moments.
Examples that may be worth the investment:
Transportation so guests can drink safely and arrive stress-free
A phenomenal band that keeps the energy high
Professional coordination to keep the day joyful and stress-free
Exceptional food that people remember
Not worth it:
Décor that's only visible in photos
Excessive paper goods and signage
Over-the-top favors
The rule: If it doesn't directly impact comfort, safety, or creating an unforgettable moment, reconsider it.
Mistake #6: Signing Contracts Without Reading the Fine Print
Wedding contracts are different from what you're used to. Hidden fees, vague cancellation policies, and missing deliverables cause problems later.
The fix: Read every contract fully. (Or hire a wedding planner to manage this for you) Get any verbal promises in writing. If something feels unclear, ask questions. A good vendor welcomes this—they want you to feel confident.
Mistake #7: Rushing Through Your Wedding Ceremony
Your ceremony is literally the reason everyone is there. It's the 20-30 minutes that transform your relationship legally and spiritually. Yet couples spend months obsessing over centerpieces and rush through ceremony planning.
The fix: Invest time here. Work with your officiant to create meaningful vows or a ceremony that reflects who you are. Build in pauses. Don't rush off to cocktail hour—soak in this moment with your person.
Mistake #8: Assuming Your Venue Coordinator is Enough
Here's what most couples don't realize: A venue coordinator works for the venue, not for you. They're incredible at managing the space, logistics, and their staff. But they're not:
Coordinating your other vendors
Managing your timeline
Handling family dynamics
Troubleshooting emergencies
Making sure YOUR vision comes to life
The reality for busy couples: You deserve to be a guest at your own wedding, not a project manager. Your families deserve to celebrate with you, not handle logistics.
"I wish we had hired you sooner" is the most common thing we hear. The couples who bring us in early get to actually enjoy their engagement instead of drowning in spreadsheets and group texts.
Your Real Choice: Stress or Support
Here's what we've learned from hundreds of weddings: The couples who enjoy their engagement and wedding day most aren't the ones who did everything themselves. They're the ones who recognized early that professional support isn't an expense—it's an investment in their peace of mind.
If you're already feeling overwhelmed (or you know you will be in three months), let's talk about how to make this process enjoyable instead of exhausting. Because you deserve to actually experience the joy of getting married—not just survive it.
Book a consultation to learn how we handle the details you never would have thought of—so you can focus on what actually matters.
xo, the team at bts events
Behind the Scenes Events specializes in luxury wedding coordination and full-service wedding planning for time-starved couples who want to be guests at their own wedding.
Serving North Dakota & Beyond, established in 2019